Penny and the Five Gold Rings of Christmas

Chapter 22 
Thursday 19th December


7:18am – Lying in the Castle of Penny 
via Text Message 

Penny: ‘Fletch told me last night he has just been offered a scholarship for his Masters’ 
Charlie: ‘That’s fantastic! At the same uni?’ 
Penny: ‘No, at a different one’ 
Charlie: ‘Oo, where is he moving to?’ 
Penny: ‘Melbourne. In six weeks’ 
Charlie: ‘Shit a brick’ 
Penny: ‘That’s what I did.’ 

12:49pm – Sitting in the Office of Hell 

via Text Message
Dorian: ‘Did you know… the word for blackboard in Italian is La Lavagna’ 
Penny: ‘Not to be confused with La Lasagna or you’re in for a chalky dinner…’ 


3:43pm – Sitting in the Office of Hell 

via Text Message
Mitch: ‘Are you ready to be my Lady in Red tonight?’ 
Penny: ‘I am willing to be your lady in red tonight, on the proviso that you don’t sing that song’ 
Mitch: ‘I can promise that I won’t sing that song, but I can’t promise I won’t serenade you at all…’ 
Penny: ‘Sweet Jesus’ 


7:03pm – Hallway, Chez du Pinkerton Mad 

Doorbell Rings

Bob *running to the door*: ‘I’ll get it!’ 
Penny *muttering to self in the bedroom*: ‘Oh shit’
Father Bear *marches through the house*: ‘Oh who the bloody hell could this be’
Mother Dearest *head pops through to the doorway*: ‘Who could be visiting at this time? Has Father Christmas come early?’
Flossie *comes bounding into the hallway*: ‘Oh who is it?’
Bob *opens the door*: ‘Hello?’ 
Mitch *staring in at entire Pinkerton Family Mad*: ‘Uh, hi… is Penny home? 
Bob *yelling*: ‘Hey Penny! There’s another bloke here to eat your buns… and this one has flowers!’ 
Mother Dearest: ‘Oooo flowers! Why don’t you come in!’ 


7:07pm – Kitchen, Chez du Pinkerton Mad 

Penny *walking out*: ‘Hey Mitch, sorry I’m late, are we ready to go?’ 
Mitch *smiling*: ‘Don’t you look gorgeous in that dress!’ 
Mother Dearest *raises eyebrows*
Penny: ‘Call it a Christmas Miracle…’ 


7:24pm – Sitting in the Taxi on the way to the mystery destination

via Text Message
Flossie: ‘Mum is convinced you are now marrying Mitch, she really likes him’ 
Penny: ‘She met him for four minutes, he is one of my oldest friends!’ 
Flossie: ‘She’s already talking about how good looking your children will be’ 
Penny: ‘Who is she saying this to?’ 
Flossie: ‘Dad…’ 
Penny: ‘And what is he doing?’
Flossie: ‘Gritting his teeth, grunting and playing mahjong on the computer… clicking rather furiously…’ 
Penny: ‘Ah, can see he really loves the idea then… just tell him Mitch plays cricket, that will calm him down’ 


7:31pm – Still sitting in the Taxi on the way to the mystery destination

via Text Message
Flossie: ‘Told Dad that Mitch plays cricket. He asked when does he want to come over for tea?’ 
Penny: ‘Good God’ 


7:44pm – Still sitting in the Taxi on the way to the mystery destination

Penny: ‘So, where are we off to and what am I doing there?’ 
Mitch: ‘We’re off to my work function and you are my arm candy for the night…’ 
Penny *raises eyebrows*: ‘I better be getting paid for this…’ 
Mitch *smiling*: ‘Well that just depends on how good the service is…’ 
Penny *rolls eyes* 


10:03pm – Christmas Drinking with Mitch & co. 

Mitch: ‘How’s the night going?’ 
Penny: ‘Well, so far only two of your bosses have squeezed me on the ass and I’ve managed to eat at least twelve things from the buffet, so I’d say it’s on an even keel…’ 
Mitch *giggling*: ‘Sorry about that, what can I say, no one can resist a lady in red!’ 
Penny *raises eyebrows*: ‘I charge double for ass grabbing you know’ 
Mitch *smiling*: 'One double vodka, coming right up!' 
Penny *sighs*


Friday 20th December 


12:01pm – Sitting in the Office of Hell 

via Text Message
Dorian: ‘Did you know… In 1454, a real human chess game took place in Marostica, Italy. Rather than fight a bloody duel, the winner of the chess game would win the hand of a beautiful girl. To commemorate the event, each September in even-numbered years, the town’s mainpiazza becomes a life-sized chess board’ 
Penny: ‘It’s like Harry Potter meets Beauty and the Geek…’ 
Dorian: ‘PS. We are going there.’ 


3:49pm – Sitting in the Office of Hell

via Text Message
Flossie: ‘I’ve had enough of these bloody Christmas carols. I’ve had enough of these bloody Christmas customers. Tonight, we’re going to Persa. Tonight, we BOOOOGGGGIIEEE!’ 
Penny: ‘Why do I get the sneaking suspicion I don’t have much say in the matter…’ 
Flossie: ‘Because you don’t. Be ready by 9pm’ 


5:16pm – Standing in the Lands of Penny 

via Text Message
Penny: ‘We’re hitting the dirty Perse for a boogie tonight, do you want to join?’ 
Charlie: ‘I’d love to. Nothing I like better than grinding to Backstreet Boys; the smell of sweat and the sweet sweet melodies of my long forgotten youth’ 
Penny: ‘I love the drama Charlie, but you’re only 23’ 
Charlie: ‘Please Penny, I have to use something to justify my taste in music!’ 


Saturday 21st December



9:18am – Lying in the Castle of Penny 

Flossie *flinging the door open with gay abandon*: ‘GOOOOOOOD Morning!’ 
Penny *groans*
Flossie: ‘Feeling a little under the weather are we? A bit… short… on sleep?’ 
Penny *crinkles forehead*: ‘What do you want…’ 
Flossie *grinning*: ‘Oh just coming in here to see if anything had… grown on you’ 
Penny *mumbling*: ‘Only the impending sense of doom that the return of my memory and feeling in my feet will bring…’
 

10:11am – Still lying in the Castle of Penny 

via Text Message
Penny: ‘Am having flashbacks from last night…’ 
Charlie: ‘What is flashing the most? The ten shots of vodka you had? Or the Strictly Ballroom performance you put on for the revelers on the dancefloor…’ 
Penny: ‘More what I got up to after the dancing…’ 
Charlie: ‘Oh you mean when you hooked up with the guy who was barely up to your shoulder?’ 
Penny: ‘Good god. That really happened?! What was I thinking?!’ 
Charlie: ‘I do recall you saying something along the lines of, “It’s Christmas! He’s an elf! I’m just keeping Santa’s Little Helpers happy”…’ 
Penny: ‘Oh good Lord’ 


10:14am – Still lying in the Castle of Penny

via Text Message
Penny: ‘This does explain the long list of short jokes Flossie was making this morning’ 


2:24pm – Lying in the Lounge Room, Chez du Pinkerton Mad 

via Text Message
Flossie: ‘HELP ME’ 
Penny: ‘What do you mean, help you?’ 
Flossie: ‘The store has gone mad, I have two hours’ worth of wrapping to do, I’ve lost feeling in my feet, my back is cramping and before you mention it Mariah Carey’s Christmas Album is NOT helping’ 
Penny: ‘What do you want me to do?’ 
Flossie: ‘Get your butt in here and start wrapping!’ 
Penny: ‘If only you knew what a task it is to merely get my butt off the couch… finding the Three Wise Men to help you would seem easier’ 


2:56pm – Wrapping and hangover hell, Norfies

Flossie: ‘Oh thank god you’re here! That pile behind the bench is yours, go go go!’ 
Penny *raises eyebrows*: ‘I think you mean ho ho ho’ 
Flossie: ‘Oh great, you’ve brought your hangover sense of humour with you… well I suppose I should expect nothing less from someone who hooks up with a midget’ 
Penny: ‘He was an elf okay? I was embracing the spirit of Christmas!’ 
Flossie *raises eyebrows*: ‘Oh yes, you were “embracing” all right!’ 
Penny *sighs* 


3:26pm – Wrapping and hangover hell, Norfies

Penny *crinkling forehead*: ‘Flossie, what is that popping sound? It sounds like someone is making popcorn?’ 
Flossie: ‘Oh, it’s just me, my feet were killing me so I taped bubble wrap under my heels to make a cushion’ 
Penny *raises eyebrows*
Flossie: ‘What? It was working well until I had to move… then it kind of started popping’ 
Penny: ‘You could do the special effects for a battle scene with the kind of noise you’re making’ 


3:45pm – Still in wrapping and hangover hell, Norfies

Flossie: ‘You may be right about the special effects of the bubble wrap… just walked past a baby in a pram and spontaneously combusted. He’s still crying’ 
Penny: ‘Pearl Harbour has nothing on you Floss…’ 


4:37pm – Still in wrapping and hangover hell, Norfies 

via Phone Call 
The President: ‘Hello Penny?!’ 
Penny: ‘Hello, how are you?’ 
The President: ‘I’m well. Now I’ll be down at the rooms in half an hour, I presume you are there setting up now?’ 
Penny: ‘Uh actually I am working at Northland at the moment, but I will be there in time for the function’ 
The President: ‘Well there are things that need to be done, you need to be there now!’ 
Penny: ‘It is all under control, everything will run like clockwork as always’ 
The President: ‘I expect the room to be set up, you’ll need to get there now to do that’ 
Penny: ‘I set the room up yesterday after it was cleaned’ 
The President: ‘Well who is going to pick up the food and cook it? That needs to be done now!’ 
Penny: ‘All of the food was collected yesterday and is in the fridges ready to be cooked, the staff are coming in at 6:30pm to start cooking for a 7pm start’ 
The President: ‘Oh right, well, I will see you there then’ 
Penny: ‘See you then’ 


4:39pm – Still in wrapping and hangover hell, Norfies

Flossie: ‘Who was that on the phone?’ 
Penny: ‘The President. Having his usual pre-function breakdown because he doesn’t trust me to do my job’ 
Flossie *raises eyebrows*: ‘What did you tell him’ 
Penny: ‘That everything he has just thought to organize was done days ago. I don’t know why he cares so much, he will leave me there by myself by 9pm to deal with eighty drunken footballers anyway’ 
Flossie *grinning*: ‘Eighty drunken footballers hey… do you need some help?’ 


11:32pm – In the Office of Hell and drunken footballers

Penny: ‘Myles… what are you doing in my office’ 
Myles *grinning*: ‘Looking for you’ 
Penny: ‘I’m easy to find, I’m the one who is walking in a straight line…’ 
Myles *still grinning*: ‘I know, I have something for you’ 
Penny: ‘Myles, I’ve already told you I don’t need a signed copy of the calendar…’ 
Myles *walks forward*: ‘Close your eyes’ 
Penny *raises eyebrow*: ‘That never ends well…’ 
Myles: ‘CLOSE your eyes!’ 
Penny *closes eyes*: ‘Wait, what is that in your hand? Myles!?’ 
Myles *holding hand above head*: ‘Oh alright, open your eyes then’ 
Penny *looking up*: ‘Is that… mistletoe?’ 
Myles *smiling*: ‘I bought it just for you’ 
Penny *grins*: ‘Well well well, aren’t you full of surprises?’ 
Myles *leaning in*: ‘Just call me your Christmas miracle’ 


Sunday 22nd December 


10:01am – Lying in the Castle of Myles 

via Text Message
Flossie: ‘I don’t know where you are but I am writing to you to report some more disturbing findings from home’ 
Penny: ‘I’m lying in bed. It’s a very special bed. The ceiling above this bed spins like a ferris wheel…’ 
Flossie: ‘Oh lord. Well, I’ve just walked into the laundry and found this…

Penny: ‘Ironing is a very strenuous task Flossie. Sometimes you need to have a fruit bar break in between the shirts and the trousers…’ 
Flossie: ‘I’m raising my eyebrows at you…’ 
Penny: ‘Oh alright, I forgot to tell you... Mum is secretly farming “Vanish” and feeding it vegan food bars for protein and bulking… Our laundry detergent is shredding for Christmas...’


11:12am – Still lying in the Castle of Myles 

via Snapchat 

11:14am – Still lying in the Castle of Myles 

via Facebook Messenger
Aubrey: ‘Whose bed did you end up in, and who the hell sleeps next to a dictionary?!?’
Roxie: ‘I am so confused, surely no one at the footy club sleeps next to a dictionary?’ 
Snicks: ‘Unless they’ve mistaken it for a coffee table…’ 
Penny: ‘I’m at Myles’ house’ 
Roxie: ‘And he has a dictionary. Next to his bed’ 
Penny: ‘Correct. To be fair, I haven’t noticed it before, so I’m not sure how long it’s been there. I must ask him’ 
Aubrey: ‘Perhaps he’s a closet academic?’ 
Snicks: ‘Perhaps he’s trying to improve himself?’ 
Roxie: ‘Perhaps he is really a big DORK!?!?’ 
Penny: ‘Perhaps…’ 


11:22am – Still lying in the Castle of Myles 

via Facebook Messenger 
Penny: ‘Crisis averted. I asked him about the Dictionary. He uses it to do bicep curls. He was using a Thesaurus but it wasn't quite heavy enough so he graduated to a dictionary...’ 
Roxie: ‘Of course he did...' 
Snicks: ‘Ahhhh footballers, you gotta love ‘em!’ 


4:45pm – Lounge Room, Chez du Pinkerton Mad 

via Text Message
Dorian: ‘The eyeglasses, thermometer and ice cream cone were all invented by Italians…’
Penny: ‘Well I suppose once they invented the eyeglasses they could see the thermometer telling them how hot it was so they needed an ice cream to cool down?’ 
Dorian: ‘Touche’ 


Monday 23rd December  


10:13am – In the Office of Hell 

via Text Message
Penny: ‘Hey Roxie, I think I found your bra on my desk…’ 
Roxie: ‘Yeh, I left it there on Saturday night before we went out’ 
Penny: ‘Ah, I see… any particular reason why?’ 
Roxie: ‘Oh I couldn’t be bothered wearing it, and I found some rigid tape downstairs… works just as well!’ 
Penny: ‘Am sure Beardy had fun rubbing that between his fingers to get it off on Sunday morning…’ 


10:17am – In the Office of Hell 

via Text Message
Roxie: ‘What are you doing in the office anyway? I thought you were on holidays now for the next six weeks?’ 
Penny: ‘I am, but someone needed to come in and assess the damage from Saturday night…’ 
Roxie: ‘How’s it looking…’ 
Penny: ‘Pretty regulation actually, one broken trestle table, two broken chairs, a shirt and two pairs of shorts on my desk, along with your bra… and 5 ping pong balls sitting in the deep fryer’ 
Roxie: ‘Ping pong balls in the deep fryer?’ 
Penny: ‘I think they confused them with Dim Sims. Looked for something Asian and this was what they came up with... They’re footballers Rox, I suppose they’re not known for their culinary expertise…’ 


8:34pm – Lying in the Castle of Penny 

via Text Message
Dorian: ‘Did you know… Christmas is the biggest celebration in Italy and it goes until the epiphany on the 6th January…’ 
Penny: ‘No wonder their grappa is so strong… imagine putting up with your family for that long!’ 


Christmas Eve – Tuesday 24th December 


11:22am – In the Office of Hell

via Text Message
Flossie: ‘It has come to this… I am officially in Christmas hell. Just wrap the head they said…

Penny: ‘Yes. That will definitely trick them. It's a PlayStation... right?' 


5:46pm – Hallway, Chez du Pinkerton Mad 

Flossie *banging on the front door*: ‘Quick! Let me in!’ 
Father Bear *marching to the door*: ‘What’s wrong Flossie?’ 
Flossie *breathless*: ‘Quick, quick! There’s a strange man following me! I’ve got a stalker!’ 
Mother Dearest *marching in arms waving*: ‘OH MY GOD! Flossie’s got a stalker!’ 



5:47pm – Hallway, Chez du Pinkerton Mad 

Doorbell rings 

Father Bear *marching to the door*: ‘Stand aside girls, I’ll take care of this!’
Mother Dearest: ‘Be careful love! Oh God, oh what will we do’ 
Father Bear *opens door*: ‘Hello, what do you want’ 
Delivery Man *brandishing a bunch of flowers*: ‘Hello, I have a delivery for Penny Pinkerton’ 
Father Bear: ‘Oh… uh… Penny?’ 
Penny: ‘Yeh, what’s wrong…’ 
Delivery Man *hands over flowers*: ‘These are for you, Merry Christmas!’ 
Mother Dearest: ‘OH MY GOD! FLOWERS! Are they from Prince Harry?! 
Flossie: ‘Wait, hold the excitement, he wasn’t stalking me? Oh. That is kind of disappointing’ 


8:32pm - Watching Carols by Candlelight, Lounge Room, Chez du Pinkerton Mad

Mother Dearest delivers a platter of baked goods and chocolate assortments… 

Flossie *looking at the platter*: ‘Did you cut my balls in half!’ 
Mother Dearest: ‘I most certainly did not touch your balls!’ 
Bob *giggling*
Flossie *pointing at platter: ‘Look! My chocolate balls, you cut them in half! You murdered my poor little balls! They will feel emasculated now!’ 
Bob *wetting himself laughing*
Mother Dearest *eyes wide open*: ‘Oh my…’ 
Penny: ‘Nothing worse than emasculating the chocolate balls at Christmas hey Mum?’ 


9:56pm – Watching Carols by Candlelight, Lounge Room, Chez du Pinkerton Mad 

Flossie: ‘What’s that beeping sound?’ 
Father Bear: ‘It sounds like it’s coming from underneath the tree…’ 
Mother Dearest: ‘OH MY GOD! IT’S A BOMB UNDER THE TREE!!! QUICK EVACUATE!!’ 
Penny: ‘Oh Shit.’ *crawls down and around the tree listening to the presents*
Mother Dearest *looking alarmed*: ‘CAREFUL PENNY!’ 
Penny *sighs*: ‘Bloody hell. It’s the clock I wrapped. I must have set the alarm and then wrapped it… hopefully if I leave it for five minutes it will stop beeping’ 


10:01pm – Watching Carols by Candlelight, Lounge Room, Chez du Pinkerton Mad 

Mother Dearest: ‘It’s still beeping…’ 
Penny *sighs*: ‘Shit. I’m going to have to unwrap it’ 
Mother Dearest *looking alarmed*: ‘Be Careful!!’ 
Penny: ‘Uh I’m fairly sure it’s still an alarm clock Mum…’ 


10:12pm – Still watching Carols by Candlelight, Lounge Room, Chez du Pinkerton Mad

Penny: ‘What is that burning smell?’ 
Father Dearest *Brrrrrroooooommmmm*
Mother Dearest: ‘OH MY GOD! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!! QUICK EVACUATE!’ 
Bob: ‘Get down low and Ho Ho Ho!’ 
Flossie *raises eyebrows*: ‘I think you’ll find it’s just Dad cutting the Roast Turkey with the electric knife’ 
Penny: ‘Smells like he has made some Tim the Tool Man Taylor improvements to it…’ 
Flossie *jumps up and starts dancing*: ‘Oh yes, we’re having the Grease of ALLL turkeys!’ 
Penny: ‘Huh?’ 
Flossie *singing*: ‘I GOT GILLS! And they are fryyyying! And I’m looooosing control! Coz the powerrrr that knifes applying! OH! It’s electrifying!’ 
Penny: ‘Jesus H. Christ’ 
Bob: ‘Nah, he’s not here until tomorrow…’ 


10:20pm – Still watching Carols by Candlelight, Lounge Room, Chez du Pinkerton Mad

Mother Dearest: ‘Oh David Campbell! He is so much like his father!’ 
Flossie: ‘Oh yes he is, who’s his dad again? It’s Billy Joel isn’t it?’ 
Penny *raises eyebrows*: ‘I think you’ll find it’s actually Jimmy Barnes…’ 
Flossie: ‘Did he star in Grease?’ 
Penny *head in hands*


10:42pm - Still watching Carols by Candlelight, Lounge Room, Chez du Pinkerton Mad

Mother Dearest *sounding hysterical*: ‘I don’t know where your sack is?! Do you know where your sack is?!’ 
Bob *giggling*
Mother Dearest: ‘It’s no laughing matter Bob, Father Christmas will be here any minute and you don’t have a sack’ 
Bob *rolling on the couch laughing hysterically*
Mother Dearest *waving arms around*: ‘OH MY GOD! We’ve lost Bob’s sack! I can’t find his sack’ 
Penny: ‘This is almost worse than when she was concerned about his box…’ 


Christmas Day - Wednesday 25th December


8:23am – Lying in the Castle of Penny 

via Text Message 
Myles: ‘Merry Christmas, to the only girl I’d ever kiss under the mistletoe, on my knees and just about everywhere else as well’ 
Penny: ‘I see Santa delivered that extra serving of charm you were hoping for… Merry Christmas Myles!’ 


10:12am – Kitchen, Chez du Pinkerton Mad

via Text Message
Penny: ‘Would you hurry up and come home, things are reaching fever pitch here. Mum has officially lost the plot’ 
Flossie: ‘What has she done now?’ 
Penny: ‘Well for starters… she’s now decorating the ham with those clove things instead of just oranges…’ 

Flossie: ‘Oh my…’ 
Penny: ‘Before you know it, our lunch will be auditioning for a bit part in the next James Bond movie!’ 
Flossie: ‘Oh yes, the Ham Who Loved Me…’ 


10:42am – Lounge Room, Chez du Pinkerton Mad 

via Phone Call
Kennedy: ‘Merry Christmas Penny!’ 
Penny: ‘Hey Kennedy, Merry Christmas to you too! Oh and thank you for those flowers, they were beautiful’ 
Kennedy: ‘Don’t mention it, I know I haven’t been around much lately but I did want to wish you Merry Christmas’ 
Penny *pauses*: ‘Oh, well thank you, they were incredibly lovely and Mum is of course convinced I am now engaged to Prince Harry, so largely effective as well’ 
Kennedy *chuckling*: ‘How is your Mother?’ 
Penny: ‘Currently? Experiencing a breakdown in the kitchen over sour cream…’ 
Kennedy: ‘Well, I daren’t stop you from assisting her in her hour of udderly need’ 
Penny *chuckling*: ‘Merry Christmas Kennedy’ 


12:34pm – Kitchen, Chez du Pinkerton Mad

via Facebook Messenger
Roxie: ‘A family friend just gave me a g-string made of candy…’ 
Penny: ‘And what did you say when he did?’
Roxie: ‘I said… “Uh thanks…”
Penny: ‘And what did he say?!’ 
Roxie: ‘He said “Ho Ho Ho”’
Penny: ‘Oh tis the season to be incredibly inappropriate… what did Beardy say?’ 
Roxie: ‘Not much… he just kind of raised his eyebrows and smiled…’ 
Penny: ‘It’s going to be a very Merry Christmas for him!’ 


1:12pm – Christmas Lunch with the Extended Pinkerton Family Mad

Mother Dearest: ‘Darling, you should do the toast before we begin eating’ 
Father Bear *raises glass*: ‘Right well, Merry Christmas to everyone and here’s hoping that we are all here next year…’ 
Penny *raises eyebrows*: ‘Nailed the Christmas cheer with that one Dad, the oldest person at this table is 67…’ 
Flossie: ‘Is he auditioning for the part of the Grim Reaper?’ 
Mother Dearest *head in hands*: ‘OH MY GOD’ 
Bob: ‘Judging by mum’s reaction, she may actually die of embarrassment before then…’ 



7:12pm – Lying in the Castle of Penny 

via Text Message 
Charlie: ‘Get any good presents? Anything useful for our trip?’ 
Penny: ‘Well I got an opera subscription, so I have no doubt that will be bloody useful. Oh and Father Christmas did give us a family ticket to go and do the ‘Snore and Roar’ at the Zoo…’ 
Charlie: ‘Do you fall asleep watching the animals?’ 
Penny: ‘No apparently you camp overnight at the Zoo and see the Zoo after dark…’ 
Charlie: ‘Are you a bit nervous about that?’ 
Penny: ‘Charlie, please… I live in a circus, the zoo can’t be any worse than this house!’ 
Charlie: ‘Fair point, well made’ 


9:37pm – Lying in the Castle of Penny 

via Phone Call 
Fletch: ‘Merry Christmas Miss Moneypenny’ 
Penny: ‘Merry Christmas Fletch, how has your day been?’ 
Fletch: ‘The usual shenanigans, family barbeque, too much drinking, Aunty Jan inappropriately exposing herself, cousin Freddie coming out officially to the family and Grandma asking why on earth he was living in a closet in the first place and who did he think he was, Harry Potter etc etc’ 
Penny *giggling*: ‘Sounds magnificent, did you get any decent presents?’
Fletch: ‘I did, I got a premium imported roll of duct tape from the USA…’ 
Penny: ‘Oh did you… sounds like someone knows you very well!’ 
Fletch *pauses*: ‘Did you, uh… get a chance to open your present?’ 
Penny *gasps*: ‘OH GOD! I completely forgot! I’ll get it and open it now!’ 


9:41pm – Back lying in the Castle of Penny

via Phone Call
Penny: ‘I have successfully retrieved the present from underneath the tree, soon I will be the owner of my very own roll of vintage duct tape!’ 
Fletch *chuckles* 
Penny *unwraps package*: ‘This is very exciting!’ *pauses* ‘Oh uh… I didn’t know duct tape came in a Tiffany’s bag…’ 
Fletch: ‘Oh you’d be surprised…’ 
Penny *pauses*: ‘Oh my… Fletch…’ 
Fletch: ‘Merry Christmas Miss Moneypenny’